Math

 

It's a strange question: What is the calculus of a chronic illness? 

Not just how much do the medications cost. Not just how much is the co-pay. My contention is this: there is quite a lot of math involved in having a chronic illness that is beyond those two basic questions. 

Here is a partial list of the calculus involved in a chronic illness in my estimation: (pun intended)

• Adding medications 
• Adding physician appointments
• Subtracting abilities
• Multiplying effort
• Dividing attention
• Measuring progress
• Halving energy levels
• Exponentially more details to track
• Infinite suggestions
• Improbable side effects
• Incongruous solutions
• Absolute value of insurance
• Estimation of required effort and energy
• Adding insurance
• Calculating the deductible
• Maximum per person deductible
• Maximum lifetime deductible
• Maximum lifetime payout
• Tax deductions for catastrophic costs
• Cost for in-network and out-of-network providers

So much math. I suspect my brain is overloaded by calculating these in the background of every day. The math is like an omnipresent thick film layered on top of every part of life. 

The rational part of my brain understands that each of these is simply an action item and that taken one at a time, none will be insurmountable. 

So if someone with a chronic illness, chronic pain, or ongoing health issue gives this a voice, please don't minimize the math of it all. 

Some days, the calculus is exponentially exhausting.